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JEEPERX

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Male Number of posts : 229
Age : 47
Location : Apache Junction AZ
Registration date : 2009-02-03

PostSubject: Talking Dog   Tue Sep 22, 2009 6:55 pm

A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For Sale ' He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.

'You talk?' he asks.

'Yep,' the Lab replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's your story?' The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. ' 'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some un dercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.' 'I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.'

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

'Ten dollars,' the guy says.

'Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?'


'Because he's a liar. He never did any of that shit.
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CamoK5
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PostSubject: Re: Talking Dog   Tue Sep 22, 2009 8:37 pm

I get it ..................................................................... lol! crackup

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FallstonYJ

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PostSubject: Re: Talking Dog   Tue Sep 22, 2009 11:49 pm

thats funny
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Juggalo1

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Age : 48
Location : Ridgway Pa.
Registration date : 2009-09-02

PostSubject: Re: Talking Dog   Fri Sep 25, 2009 8:52 pm

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She
asked, 'What's on TV?'

I said, 'Dust.'

And then the fight started.

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She
said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.'

I bought her a scale.

And then the fight started.
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crazyjimmy
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Age : 55
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PostSubject: Re: Talking Dog   Sat Sep 26, 2009 6:21 pm

Whats a wife???

I used to have someone live with me, she always complained that I never listened or something like that?

It is better to have loved and lost than it is to live your whole life with a psyco.


She told me it was her or the Jeep, Nuf said.
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Juggalo1

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PostSubject: Re: Talking Dog   Sat Sep 26, 2009 11:32 pm

LMAO I liked the whole loved & lost a psyco thing. Its good cause its true..LOL
OK maybe another than.


After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social
Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to
verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.
I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come
back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing
my curly silver hair.

She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and
she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social
Security office.

She said, 'you should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten
disability, too.'

And then the fight started...
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